1. 

There may not be anyone else with the same constellation of symptoms as your child but there are people with similar challenges. Find those people. I have never met anyone with all of these same challenges as my kid but I have a strong network within each separate diagnosis. We have made wonderful friends and have found—and I hope provided—a great deal of support within each of these. I just have to pop onto one of my Facebook groups and I’m immediately reminded, I’m not alone.

2. 

We are placed in a position of caring for others nearly constantly. However, you still need and deserve to be cared for. That entails asking friends or family to bring a meal by every now and then, or going for a pedicure, or a date night, or whatever else you enjoy doing. Whatever makes you feel special and taken care of, take the time to enjoy it, you are worth it!

3. 

No one is perfect. We all make mistakes. We can wallow in our goof-ups or move on! Try to shift your thinking, maybe there was a good reason you missed that appointment, that you were sure was on Tuesday but apparently was on Monday. Maybe your kiddo had a tough day at school and just needed the night off. Who knows? But beating yourself up isn’t going to change the situation, so try to move on.

4. 

You may not leap buildings in a single bound or run faster than a speeding bullet but you are a superhero none the less. Every day, you manage situations that a regular parent would think are impossible. You stretch tight muscles, remember pills, inject and infuse the medicine. You hold hysterical children during horrendous medical procedures. You deal with tantrums and meltdowns. And most often manage not to have a tantrum or meltdown yourself. You encourage your child to do things doctors told you they would never do but you never gave up hope. You are a therapist, nurse, doctor, friend and confidante. You are no regular parent.

5. 

Having sat in on several therapy sessions, I have been frustrated by what I thought was premature discharge from therapy on more than one occasion. Since then, I have grown, I have learned and I have come to understand. For children, therapy is play and play is therapy. What I mean is that the best therapists find ways to make my son engage in challenging activities that he otherwise would have balked at, by making it a game that he wanted to play. We took a page from their book and did the same at home.

6. 

Yes this is different from number five. After discharge from therapy, we sought extra curricular activities for my son that would offer therapeutic benefits. He played sled hockey, runs on a track team, learned to shoot archery and takes swim lessons. All of this is therapy. He’s learning, having fun and getting stronger. Win, Win and Win!

7. 

We super parents tend to be fairly busy and often over scheduled. However, while everything on your calendar is important, it’s also important to make time to play, laugh, be silly and just enjoy your kids. Read to them, snuggle with them, engage with them with what’s important in their worlds. Make memories outside of hospital walls.

8. 

You will have to make painful decisions that hurt your heart and leave you questioning everything you thought you knew or understood. Know that you are doing your best, remember number three. I am guilty of agonizing over these types of decisions, they can become really overwhelming to me. Talk about your conundrum with others who get it and trust yourself to make the best decision. Make it move on and once it’s made don’t rethink it. Easier said than done, but worth a try!

9. 

Many of the choices you are forced to make have no right answer, just the lesser of the hard and painful wrong choices. You will do your best but you won’t always get it right no matter how many sleepless nights you spend agonizing over how to handle a situation.

10. 

Yes, you will screw things up sometimes despite the very best of intentions. No amount of torturing yourself will make you feel better, nor will it help you to make better choices. Remember many of the toughest decisions have no right answer.

11. 

It can also be extra rewarding. Make us extra passionate. And will almost always make life extra interesting. With the challenges come the rewards. Sometimes you have to search your heart for the rewards but they are there if you look for them.

12.  

For those folks who are trying to win a marathon, there are no breaks. If you want to stay in the race, you eat, drink and even pee while running. But our marathon will go on for the foreseeable future and beyond. So remember, you don’t need to win, just make it to the end. The guy who comes in last place in the marathon, he took breaks, he stood and drank some water, grabbed a quick bite and used the porta-john for his business, then got back on the road. Give yourself those moments—however brief—that are for yourself. Goodness, you might even get to pee in peace every now and then.

13. 

Don’t let being the parent of a special needs child create or reshape your identity. We are many things, being the parent to a child with special needs is part of our identity. But it shouldn’t be all of our identity. When you focus all of your life, all of your contacts, all of yourself around your child and their needs, who you are can get lost. Find things in your life you enjoy doing, a glass of wine, a hobby, shopping for yourself.

14. 

Certain things get under my skin, we all have our buzz issues, one of mine is people first language. But if you’re not careful, you can become overly sensitive to so many things that people start to avoid your company. Many colloquialisms like “I almost had a stroke”, or “I nearly had a heart attack” are disconcerting to parents whose children have in fact had a heart attack or a stroke. However try to remember that people are not making these comments to offend or upset you.

15. 

Brag about those accomplishments that might seem small to others but are huge for our kids! Our kids develop on their own clock, they learn many skills late and some they never master. A wiggled toe that couldn’t wiggle before, a word, a sentence, a smile, a hug, whatever that milestone may be, share it with those who love you and your child.

16. 

I know how hard it is to hear from parents that their child six months younger than yours is walking and yours isn’t. Or dealing with the well meaning stranger who asks why your 2-year-old is scooting around on their butt rather than being up on their feet. Try to remember that these people lack the context that we are constantly embedded in. Explain, teach, be patient, raise awareness amongst those who just don’t get it. And remember, typical parents deserve the right to brag too and their pride at their child’s accomplishments is not meant as a knock to your amazing kiddo.

17. 

This is another challenging one folks, but worth the work. All kids are different, typical, or with extra challenges and they will grow and develop at their own pace. If a developmental milestone isn’t met as you think it should be, certainly talk to your child’s doctor. Comparing, siblings, cousins, kids in the daycare class, or even comparing kids within the same disability type rarely serves to make you feel better. Your child is unique, and will have their own individual strengths and challenges.

18. 

You know the one who clearly spent 10 hours creating the amazing snack shaped like an animal with licorice whiskers. The one who sends adorable treat bags for every holiday. The one who finds the coolest gifts for the teachers every year. And whose child is always dressed in the cutest outfits that somehow never get dirty. If that’s the mom you are led to be, more power to you! However, I have found that there are always enough of those mom’s in my kid’s classes to keep them in cute snacks and treat bags. Since I have bigger fish to fry, I let them have all the glory!

19. 

Marriage is hard work, period. Parenting is hard work, period. Parenting a child with special needs, is especially hard work, period! For those of you who are married or in a relationship, make time for that relationship away from your children.

20. 

You know your children best. Doctors, teachers, therapists are all fantastic resources but if you don’t feel like you’re being heard, or your child’s needs are being met, it’s very reasonable to get a second opinion. Don’t be afraid to fight for your child and their needs. While the professionals are experts in their areas, you are the expert on your child.

Reference: Dr. Darla Clayton, PsyD, The Mobility Resource

You’re confused by your kid. She doesn’t act the way you did when you were growing up. She’s hesitant and reserved. Instead of diving in to play, she’d rather stand back and watch the other kids. She talks to you in fits and starts—sometimes she rambles on, telling you stories, but other times, she’s silent, and you can’t figure out what’s going on in her head. She spends a lot of time alone in her bedroom. Her teacher says he wishes she’d participate more in class. Her social life is limited to two people. Even weirder, she seems totally okay with that.

Congratulations: you’ve got an introvert.

It’s not unusual for extroverted parents to worry about their introverted children and even wonder if their behavior is mentally and emotionally healthy. Of course, children can suffer from anxiety and depression, just as adults can. It’s important to be aware of the symptoms of childhood depression; sometimes withdrawal from friends and family and low energy signal something more than introversion.

Many introverted children, however, are not depressed or anxious at all. They behave in the way they do because of their innate temperament. The more you embrace their natural introverted nature, the happier your child will be.

1. 

Introverts are hardly a minority. Numbers vary based on a study, but introverts make up 30-50 percent of the U.S. population. Some of our most successful leaders, entertainers, and entrepreneurs, such as Bill Gates, Emma Watson, Warren Buffett, Courteney Cox, Christina Aguilera, J.K. Rowling, Abraham Lincoln, Mother Teresa, and Mahatma Gandhi, have been introverts.

2. 

Think your child can just “get over” hating raucous birthday parties? Think again. Introverts’ and extroverts’ brains are “wired” differently, according to Dr. Marti Olsen Laney, author of The Hidden Gifts of the Introverted Child. She writes that children’s temperaments are innate (although parents play an important role in nurturing that temperament).

Introverts’ and extroverts’ brains use different neurotransmitter pathways, and introverts and extroverts use different “sides” of their nervous systems (introverts prefer the parasympathetic side, which is the “rest and digest” system as opposed to the sympathetic, which triggers the “fight, flight, or freeze” response). Furthermore, a study published in the Journal of Neuroscience found that introverts have larger, thicker gray matter in their prefrontal cortices, which is the area of the brain associated with abstract thought and decision-making. If your child tends to be more cautious and reserved than her extroverted peers, rest assured that there’s a biological reason for it.

3. 

Introverts often feel overwhelmed or anxious in new environments and around new people. If you’re attending a social event, don’t expect your child to jump into the action and chat with other children right away. If possible, arrive early so your child can get comfortable in that space and feel like other people are entering a space she already “owns.”

Another option is to have your child stand back from the action at a comfortable distance—perhaps near you, where she feels safe—and simply watch the event for a few minutes. Quietly observing will help her process things.

If arriving early or observing isn’t possible, discuss the event ahead of time with your child, talking about who will be there, what will likely happen, how she might feel, and what she could say to start a conversation.

If your child is nervous about starting a new school year, visit your child’s classroom, introduce her to her teacher, and find the bathroom, the lunchroom, and her locker before the hustle and bustle of the first day of classes.

No matter what new experience you’re getting him accustomed to, remember: go slowly, but don’t not go. “Don’t let him opt out, but do respect his limits, even when they seem extreme,” writes Susan Cain about introverted children. “Inch together toward the thing he’s wary of.”

4. 

While extroverts feel energized by socializing, introverts can feel drained. If your child is older, she can excuse herself to a quieter part of the room or a different location such as the bathroom or outside. If she’s younger, she might not notice when she’s tapped out, so you’ll have to watch her for signs of fatigue.

5. 

Let her know you admire what she did. Say something like, “Yesterday, I saw you talking to that new boy. I know that was hard for you, but I’m proud of what you did.”

6. 

Say, “You thought you were going to have a miserable time at the birthday party, but you ended up making some new friends.” With positive reinforcement like this, over time, she’ll be more likely to be able to self-regulate her feelings of nervousness and dread.

7. 

Your child may have intense—and maybe even unique—interests. Give her opportunities to pursue those interests, says Christine Fonseca, author of Quiet Kids: Help Your Introverted Child Succeed in an Extroverted World. Softball and Girl Scouts may work well for some children, but don’t forget to look off the beaten path and consider writing classes or science camps. Intense engagement in an activity can bring happiness, well-being, and confidence (think Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s state of flow), but it also gives your child opportunities to socialize with other children who have similar passions (and perhaps similar temperaments).

8. 

This will help your child’s teachers know how to interpret her behavior. Some teachers mistakenly assume that introverted children don’t speak up much in class because they’re disinterested or not paying attention.

On the contrary, introverted students can be quite attentive in class, but they often prefer to listen and observe rather than actively participate.

Also, if the teacher knows about your child’s introversion, the teacher may be able to gently help her navigate things like interactions with friends, participation in group work, or presenting in class.

9. 

Teach her to say stop or no in a loud voice when another child tries to take her toy from her. If she’s being bullied or treated unfairly at school, encourage her to speak up to an adult or the perpetrator. “It starts with teaching introverted children that their voice is important,” Fonseca says.

10. 

Listen to your child, and ask questions to draw her out. Many introverts—children and adults—struggle with feeling “heard” by others. Introverts “live internally, and they need someone to draw them out,” writes Dr. Laney in her book. “Without a parent who listens and reflects back to them, like an echo, what they are thinking, they can get lost in their own minds.”

11. 

Introverts tend to internalize problems. Your child might not talk to you about a difficult situation she’s dealing with at school or with a friend although she wishes for and/or could benefit from some adult guidance. Again, ask questions and truly listen—but don’t pry or make your questions feel like an interrogation.

12. 

“Shy” is a word that carries a negative connotation. If your introverted child hears the word “shy” enough times, she may start to believe that her discomfort around people is a fixed trait, not a feeling she can learn to control. Furthermore, “shy” focuses on the inhibition she experiences, and it doesn’t help her understand the true source of her quietness—her introverted temperament.

13. 

Introverts seek depth in relationships, not breadth. They prefer a small circle of friends and usually aren’t interested in being “popular.”

14. 

Anything that pulls your child out of her inner world—like going to school, socializing, or even navigating a new routine—will drain her. Don’t be hurt or think your child doesn’t enjoy being with the family when she spends time alone in her room, perhaps reading a book, playing on the computer, or playing an imagination game. Most likely, once she has recharged, she’ll want to spend time with the family again.

15. 

“Don’t just accept your child for who she is; treasure her for who she is,” writes Cain. “Introverted children are often kind, thoughtful, focused, and very interesting company, as long as they’re in settings that work for them.”

Reference: Jennifer Granneman

• While it’s true that family is forever, it is important that the family is healthy. Your family will be healthy if you give it time. Family time is an essential factor that helps to create strong bonds, love, connections, and relationship among the family members. Spending quality time with family does help in coping with challenges, instil a feeling of security, inculcate family values, fill kids with confidence, and much more. 

Do you ever wonder why family time is important?

Yes, time is so important – in fact, time is money, as we’re often reminded when we set out to seek our livelihood as parents.

But family time? Is this meaningful or serve any purpose? Isn’t it just a waste of time because you could probably earn a few grand more putting that time to work!

I know you do not actually think like that and I’ve exaggerated it a bit.

Maybe you do plan to spend time with your family but things do not always go as per the plans. But you do it all for the family – to earn and provide for the family.

You give money and things to your family. But what does your family need the most?

Your time.

For your kids, your time spent with them is life precious jewels that embed in their memories forever.

The concept of “family” has changed a great deal in recent times, and there are now various forms of families and different styles of parenting. However, one thing remains certain; whatever the term “family” may mean to you, it is of utmost importance in your child’s life.

The family where your child grows up has a big influence on how he or she deals with relationships, copes with situations, and learns about living life. It’s only possible if you proactively be a part of the family.

And for that to happen, you need to block out family time in your schedule.

Family time is also important because if children don’t get the required attention, they might do something that could get them in trouble.

Some stay-at-home parents or moms may think that they are somehow “better” than other parents or moms, who stay away from home for most of the time. This is a misconception.

We often think that it’s all about quantity when it comes to the time we spend with our kids, whereas it is the quality time that we need to give our family and children. Your kids care less about the hours you spend with them than how you spend your time with them.

As your children get older and become teenagers, it becomes tougher to spend family time with them. It’s mainly because life keeps you busy and your children reach a stage where their friends are the main priority.

As a parent, you have to be willing to go down to their level and enter their world. Sometimes you have to be creative or let them decide what they want to do as a family. But never give up on spending family time with your teens, and they may appreciate it more than what they express.

According to studies, healthy families make family time for talking and listening, accepting differences, showing affection and encouragement, sharing chores and decision making, keeping in touch, and making time for each other.

For those who still doubt the importance of family time, mentioned below are a few points to put things in better perspective. Here are 10 reasons why family time is important:

The main reason why family time is important is because you need to develop ties and bond with your family. Often kids decide to join gangs or groups because they welcome them in, to become a part of their family.

Your kids need a sense of belonging and security, as they need to feel they have someone they can turn and look up to, for anything. Spending family time together ensures that a deep, strong, family bond develops.

Another good reason of spending time with family directly relates to the need to share, talk, and listen to each other as a family.

Parents often think that it would be tough to talk to their children, who think differently from grown-ups. However, parents tend to forget their own time, as how it was for them when they were young! The people you liked were mostly those who listened to what you had to say, similarly, you need to listen to what your children have to say. Listening doesn’t mean only hearing the words your child is saying, but also feeling what your child is trying to convey.

You need to listen without jumping in with answers, criticizing, or giving your own viewpoints. You need to show that you are involved in the conversation, by stopping all other work you are doing, and just listen to them. Talk directly to your kids, especially teenagers, about alcohol and drugs, and set a good example yourself.

If you do not teach children at home, they will learn it elsewhere. As a parent, would you want your children to learn life’s important lessons by undergoing pain, or going the wrong way?

Although children have to learn a few things on their own, it’s important to have family time for discussions, where you can put forth problems or situations in front of them, and then talk about them with your children, seek their opinion, and discuss on the matter. This would help them understand the situations of life in a better way.

 Family time is important so that everyone in the family has a way of showing affection to each other, maybe by giving hugs, holding hands, being thoughtful and kind. According to studies, teenagers who remember being praised, hugged, or kissed are likely to do better at school than those who don’t have this experience.

You need to take out that quality family time to ask what each family member has done in the day, and show interest in each other’s lives. People find it very easy to criticize than praise. So make an effort to think about the positive in each person and tell your child what goodness you have noticed, besides teaching them these values.

Instilling family values in children is of great significance nowadays, so that they are not misled by the number of divorces on the rise.

Children mostly imitate the behavior you show towards them. If you are an absent parent, they will be the same to their children in the future. Instead, they often portray worse behaviors than they see.

Thus, spending family time together will build a sense of worth and instill positive family values in your children.

Daily rituals or the little things that you do daily and on special occasions, helps to build a sense of belonging, contentedness, and inner security within the family. Daily rituals like the way you greet each other, or say goodbye, what you do at mealtimes or bedtimes, can all be something to share within your family time.

Families benefit from coming together to celebrate occasions like birthdays, anniversaries, or festivals like Christmas, etc., where they learn the traditions about what happens at these times.

Family time is essential to appreciate, encourage, and value the differences in each family member, knowing that everyone is special in their own way. Allow each family member to be excited about their personal interests, and show respect and tolerance towards them.

Don’t pressurize your family members to be like you, or hide their feelings and differences. Instead, let them feel proud to be themselves.

 As we live in a society, we do need to spend time among our family as well as interact with friends and relatives. Knowing that there are people outside the family to turn to in a crisis can make a difference to your child’s happiness. It also increases the chances of them making good friends later in life.

Family time is important to teach younger children, by giving them chance to do things for themselves, under your supervision. Use adult power wisely, and keep control through humor and encouragement, not with punishments or threats.

By spending time with family together, a very special relationship of trust and intimacy develops that helps build a healthy family. Especially when children have a real say in what happens and where everyone feels their views are heard.

One of the most overlooked aspects of education today is parental involvement. Many parents don’t realize the importance of family time and how important it is to involve themselves in their children’s learning.

All parents and family members need to find time and make the effort. Research shows that when parents involve themselves in the family, their children:

• Get superior grades and test scores.
• Graduate from high school at higher rates.
• Are most likely to go on to higher education.
• Have more positive attitudes and behave better.

Spending time with family can be like reading a bedtime story to your kids, checking their homework, getting involved in PTA, discussing your child’s progress with teachers, or anything related also to their academic progress. Or it can be as simple as asking your children, how was their day at school, but ask every day.

So, the importance of family and why you should spend quality time with family doesn’t remain a question anymore. Now you know it helps create a sense of belonging, where you can share ideas, values, and beliefs.

You need to find some ways to spend time together as a family group, and make fun times together. For example, you could share meals together without the distraction of television or cell phones, share information, and learn about what is happening in each other lives. You could play cards, games or sports, take holidays together, go camping, watch movies, or share hobbies.

You will build a stronger family unit by spending more time together, and your family will stick together through rough times, besides enjoying the fun times together.

Show loyalty to your family, stick up for each other so that each person feels confident in the family’s support and pull together to form a united front to find solutions.

Children grow up and are gone before you realize it, so don’t waste the time you have now, and spend it with your family. Remember, that strong families are able to withstand setbacks and crisis with a positive attitude, shared values, and beliefs that help them cope with challenges.

Reference: Harleena Singh from Aha-now