Breastfeeding is one of the best joys of motherhood. The bond mamas develop with their little ones is so precious, but it's not always easy. Some of the most common struggles new mamas confront include securing a proper latch, nipple soreness and low milk supply. But for breastfeeding mothers of color, there is an additional set of struggles that are often overlooked.

While it's only a start, Black Breastfeeding Week can be an equalizer, bringing attention to the challenges black women face while promoting the fact that black women do, in fact, breastfeed.

These are breastfeeding challenges new mothers of color face and what we can start doing today to initiate a positive change:

1. Lack of prenatal support

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, black mothers are four times more likely to die during and after pregnancy. In fact, a study from the University of Tennessee College of Medicine proved that healthcare providers often assume that black patients are overreacting when raising issues regarding pain, discomfort and other difficulties.

The nonchalant outlook regarding the health concerns of black women can lead to the common assumption that black mothers do not breastfeed. As a result, the breastfeeding education that expectant black mothers should receive is often left out of the prenatal care plan.

How Black Breastfeeding Week helps: It encourages increased integration of prenatal breastfeeding education. By raising awareness of the racial disparities experienced by the black community, this week can motivate healthcare workers to place a greater emphasis on promoting and encouraging breastfeeding to their black expectant mothers.

2. Lack of postpartum breastfeeding support

After giving birth it is common for new mothers to receive assistance with latching, education regarding the benefits of breastfeeding, and a visit from a lactation consultant. But for new mothers of color, this experience may be very different. In fact, a study indicated that hospitals located in areas with a higher percentage of black residents were less likely to provide adequate breastfeeding support. Additionally, black infants are more likely to be formula fed in the hospital than other races.

Compared to white mothers, researchers at Northshore University reported that black mothers were significantly more likely to be encouraged to formula feed. Early initiation of formula feeding without necessity can reduce the likelihood of long-term breastfeeding success.

How Black Breastfeeding Week helps: This week draws attention to this discrepancy, thus reminding birth workers that black mothers DO breastfeed and that, with proper education and support, the breastfeeding rates among the black community will improve.

3. Lack of support within the black community

In addition to the uncomfortable stares, nursing mothers may get while breastfeeding in public, breastfeeding women of color also have to deal with stigmas within their own community. These stigmas stem from the historical trauma of being forced to wet nurse babies of their slave owners which often led to the neglect and inability to nurse their own children.

Because of this, breastfeeding is not normalized within black families or the black community.

How Black Breastfeeding Week helps: With a focus on normalizing and celebrating breastfeeding in public, this awareness can help to eliminate the stigma of breastfeeding within the black community. When more of the black community see their peers proudly nursing their babies in public, it will break the generational belief that "breastfeeding is only for white women."

4. Lack of support within the breastfeeding community

Of the 31,181 International Board Certified Lactation Consultants worldwide, very few of them are African American. Black mothers often find it easier to discuss their breastfeeding struggles with someone that understands the disparities and cultural issues they may face. Additionally, the majority of advertisements depicting breastfeeding mothers do not feature women of color. Without role models and supporters that look like them, it is unlikely that black mothers will strive to breastfeed since it is not promoted within their community.

How Black Breastfeeding Week helps: While this is an unfortunate truth, Black Breastfeeding Week seeks to encourage women of color to become lactation consultants by pointing out the lack of diversity within the lactation community. It also highlights the amazing black lactation consultants available that act as role models for aspiring breastfeeding supporters of color.

Here's how you can make a difference:

These struggles have led to a lower percentage of breastfeeding black mothers when compared to other races, however, with raised awareness by the CDC and campaigns like Black Breastfeeding Week, the statistics are improving. In 2015, only 64.3% of black infants were breastfed. The most recent CDC breastfeeding statistic report shows that there was a 10% increase in breastfeeding of black infants.

With increased prenatal and postpartum support (regardless of your race), more access to resources, and added representation of both black breastfeeding mothers and black lactation professionals, these statistics will continue to improve, resulting in healthier communities everywhere.

Here are three actionable ways you can support Black Breastfeeding Week right now:

1. Write to your government officials and tell them why they should celebrate and promote Black Breastfeeding Week in your city/state.
2. Share articles like this on social media to help your friends, family and the rest of the world learn about why this week is necessary.
3. Like and share images of black breastfeeding women on your social media channels. Black representation matters and your support just might encourage a mother to breastfeed.

source: mother.ly

Recently, I saw a funny meme about the multiple benefits of coconut oil. It said: "Frizzy hair? Coconut oil. No shaving cream? Coconut oil. Dry skin? Coconut oil. Bad credit? Coconut oil. Boyfriend acting up? Coconut oil."

When it comes to parenting, we have our own magical coconut oil. It's called: special time.

Child having multiple meltdowns a day? Special time. Child whining incessantly? Special time. Child repeatedly antagonizing his sibling? Special time. Jeans too tight? Special time. Don't know what to make for dinner? Special time.

Okay fine. Special time won't exactly get you into a smaller pair of jeans, but I'm convinced it's the antidote to most parenting-related issues.

The term "snowplow parent" is creeping into our feeds and conversations, and like its predecessor, "helicopter parent" the phrase paints an unflattering portrait of the type of parents it tries to define.

The phrase has been floating around the internet for years but was popularized by writers Claire Cain Miller and Jonah Engel Bromwichba, who, in a New York Times article, defined snowplow parents as "machines chugging ahead, clearing any obstacles in their child's path to success, so they don't have to encounter failure, frustration or lost opportunities."

All of us want our children to be happy, successful and have opportunities, but the college admissions scandal involving actors Felicity Huffman and Lori Loughlin showed what can happen when so-called snowplow parents take things too far.

Most of us don't have $500,000 to spend clearing an effortless path to college for our children, but plowing obstacles out of their childhoods can cost us even more. When we take all the hard bits out of the road to adulthood, our kids have no idea what to do once they arrive.

If we do everything for our kids, we rob them of the resiliency that children develop when they overcome obstacles, and of the important life skills they develop when they pick themselves up after a fall and pick up more responsibilities. And we also rob ourselves of a future in which we're not parenting an adult.

A poll by The New York Times and Morning Consult found that three-quarters of parents with children between 18 and 28 are doing things like reminding kids of deadlines at college and making appointments for their haircuts and doctors visits. A shocking 11% said they would contact their child's employer if they had a problem at work.

Most of us do not want to be booking haircuts for a 20-year-old or calling our child's boss when they're old enough to vote and legally drink. Instead of vilifying snowplow parents (most of whom likely had the best intentions) let's learn some lessons from them so that we can raise a generation that grows up ready for #adulting.

Here are five lessons we can learn from snowplow parents:

1. We need to let our kids fail so that they can overcome

It is hard to see our children disappointed, hurt or sad when a choice they made backfires, but as one mama, Tunde Wackman, once wrote for Motherly, "I have to remind myself that consequences are gifts in disguise, though, not a dereliction of my motherly 'duty' to protect my children from challenges."

If we pick up the blocks when they tumble, or correct their homework before they hand it in, or rush home to grab the book report they forgot, our kids don't have the opportunity to learn from their mistakes, and more importantly, they lose an opportunity to learn that they can bounce back from one.

2. We need to say 'no' to our kids and let them feel their feelings

It can be hard to look at your crying child and tell them "no" knowing that a "yes" would protect them from feeling bad, but sometimes we've got to let them feel their emotions, even when it is hard.

"If we never take off the bubble wrap and rarely say no, our children may become incapable of tolerating or managing the inconveniences of life—they'll demand instant gratification and, over time, develop impulse control issues," Ilene S. Cohen, Ph.D., a psychotherapist, previously wrote for Motherly.

According to Cohen, "Research shows that children who have been overly protected from their own emotions lack a sense of agency over their own lives and are more prone to develop unfulfilling relationships in the future."

When our child breaks their toy or drops their ice cream, rushing to buy a new one can numb the pain temporarily, but letting them feel the disappointment or frustration and teaching them that it is okay to feel that way also teaches them that these are feelings that they have the power to overcome.

3. We need to praise effort as much as results

Our children need to know that trying is important. We need to praise our children for doing things that are hard and tell them often that they can do hard things. This promotes a growth mindset, where kids know their abilities and skills aren't fixed and can grow with practice, and helps kids feel confident in their ability to overcome challenges. When a child is praised for not giving up, they're more likely to keep going when times get tough.

4. We need to give our children increasing levels of responsibility

When it comes to household chores, like making the bed or loading this dishwasher, sometimes it feels like it would be more efficient if we just did it ourselves rather than letting a 3-year-old try, but we have to let them try. Even very young kids are capable of taking on small responsibilities, and it's so much easier to start when they're three than when they're 22.

5. We need to get our kids thinking proactively

As Dr. Laura Markham previously wrote for Motherly, it's not enough to tell our children to do something, we've got to train them to be thinking about what they need to do. "For instance, to the dallying child in the morning, instead of barking 'Brush your teeth! Is your backpack packed? Don't forget your lunch!' you could ask, 'What's the next thing you need to do to get ready for school?' The goal is to keep them focused on their list, morning after morning until they internalize it and begin managing their own morning tasks," Markham writes.

If we don't want to be calling a college senior to remind them their essay is due, we should stop reminding our children about their responsibilities and instead ask them which one comes next.

source: by Heather Marcoux